SAWBONES

I always used to think of Roger Corman as a nice old guy. He would make goofy horror thrillers in the 50s and 60s that were essentially innocuous, entertaining fun. Then more recently I started to check out the films from his “Roger Corman Presents” series. The first couple were surprisingly gory. I thought to myself, “Well, old Roger probably wasn’t really involved in these. Maybe the nastiness slipped by him.” But now, after seeing SAWBONES, I can saw without a shadow of a doubt: Roger Corman is a sick, sick man.

SAWBONES is one of those straight-to-video movies that has the look and feel of a made-for-Lifetime movie. Adding to that vibe is the presence of such has-beens as Barbara Carrera (multiple plastic surgeries later), Nicholas Sadler, and led by the cute-as-a-button but incredibly annoying Nina Siemaszko starring as Jenny Sloan. Jenny works in the admissions office of a med school. Her boyfriend, Brad, is a doctor working some long hours who essentially treats her like crap and never has the energy for sex. Brad, you made it through med school, you can at least make it through seven minutes of sex.

One day Jenny stumbles across a body in a dumpster – a body that appears to have been operated on. The report eventually makes its way to detective Burt Miller, played by Adam Baldwin – who is best known as Animal Mother in FULL METAL JACKET. I was waiting for him to say, “You talk the talk, but do you walk the walk?” In this film, Baldwin appears to be on downers, mumbling his way through his pedestrian lines while waiting for his paycheck to be signed so he can make his latest rent payment.

Before long it becomes clear to both the detective and the enterprising young admissions officer that the murderer is a failed med student – possibly even one rejected from medical school. Good job admissions committee! The killer is, in fact, absolutely insane. He (Don Harvey) imagines himself to be a top surgeon and has even re-created an operating room in his basement. He imagines a team of workers around him, and as he operates he says things such as “Would you mind closing the patient up, doctor?” to a staff that isn’t there. He takes this a step further by playing imaginary golf in his backyard. That was a clever touch.

The real reason we watch is for the surgeries. The surgeries take place on live patients the “doctor” kidnaps – patients, of course, who don’t need any surgery. And, apparently, who don’t need any anesthetic, with the exception of enough to paralyze them. So here is a film about a wannabe doctor who operates on live patients who know and can feel exactly what’s happening to them. That’s just downright nasty!

SAWBONES does satisfy those craving a certain amount of gore and nudity. However, it does so in such a deeply dark and sickening way, that it’s not quite entertaining enough to recommend. Nina is cute and it’s sadly fun to watch Animal Mother sleepwalk his way through the movie. But ultimately, SAWBONES doesn’t entertain, and in fact does little more than prove that Roger Corman is a sick-o. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (see HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP), but in this movie it leaves you with a stale taste in your mouth.

RATING: * and a half (out of four)