FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN aka ANDY WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN

Posted by Absolute Horror Panelist, Silent Killer.

One of the great things about writing reviews for this site is that I get to go back and watch films I haven’t seen in a long time. It gives me a chance to possibly see things in the film that I may have missed in previous viewings.  Such is the case with FLESH FOR FRANKSTEIN.  It’s been years since I last laid my eyes on this grand opus.

The story is based on Mary Shelly’s classic tale, but you throw Andy Warhol into the mix and you are going to get a film that makes you scratch your head, turn away from the screen and wonder what the hell the filmmakers were smoking when they decided to make it.  The great Udo Kier plays Baron Frankenstein and he is still up to his old tricks of bringing life to the dead.  This time he is out to create a zombie couple so that they can have zombie children (guess they didn’t have Ritalin at this time).  He is aided by the non-humpbacked Otto who seems on the verge of going postal at any second.  The Baron has two kids (I believe they innovated the whole “Creepy Kids who Stare a lot” concept that we see today) whose mother happens to be their aunt as well.   Yes kiddies incest: it not just for Kentuckians.

The Baroness/mother/aunt is played by Monique Van Vooren who looks like Faye Dunaway's reflection in a faucet.  Well the good doctor needs a head to complete his male and goes to a local brothel to find a man who would be suitable.  We then meet Nicholas the Stable Boy played by Joe Dallesandro (who’s performance is so wooden I thought I was watching an ad for Home Depot) and Sacha played by Miomir Aleksic (whose career apparently started and stopped with this flick). Nicholas is the stud, getting any girl he wants while Sacha wants to be a monk, but the film gives the indication that he would rather be in the arms of Nicholas (I guess those not too subtle glaces to Nick's ass were the give-a-way).  Well in a great “Three’s Company” screw-up they take the wrong guy - Sacha -  and hi-jinks ensure.  Nick becomes sexually involved with the Baroness and he soon discovers what fate has befallen his friend.

Is this film fun to watch?  At times yes.  There is some great gore in it, some lines of dialogue that made me laugh out loud and some great boob shots (although Monique Van Vooren’s forehead kept distracting me).  Udo Kier’s scene chewing is so overt I was surprised I didn’t see him get fatter as the film progressed. The other times are just scenes of people staring all wide-eyed it made me think they had gone to the Mantan Moreland school of acting.

I was wondering why they kept doing close ups of random objects and then I found out this film had been released in 3-D (there are a few penis shots so I’m glad the DVDs are in 2-D).  This film is less of a horror movie and more of look at people being consumed by flesh.  I think that was the point and, to be honest, there were times that I was so bored that my box of Soft Batch cookies made a clearer point.  Check it out for nostalgic reasons and to hear some classic lines that will live forever.  In the words of the Baron “To know death Otto, you have to f*** life in the gall bladder.”  Truer words have never been spoken.

RATING: ** (out of four)