New Horror Review Every Weekday

Welcome to Absolute Horror. Here at Absolute Horror we dedicate ourselves to reviewing the very worst the genre of horror has to offer. If you're anything like us, you know how entertaining a bad horror film can be. So we look for the greatest in Straight-To-Video and waste our lives watching them so you know whether or not it's worth wasting yours.

Join Us

Always felt like you had something to say about your favorite genre of movies? Here's your opportunity to give it a shot. The more you comment, the better - and if you want to be a guest reviewer, just contact us.

More about Absolute Horror.

Search Absolute Horror

Google
Web Absolute Horror

Add to My Yahoo!

Subscribe in NewsGator Online

Feed Shark

Copyright 2005 Absolute Horror - All writing and art that you see on this blog is the property of the owners of Absolute Horror, unless stated otherwise. Written permission must be obtained by owners prior to external use or re-publishing of any of the content found within "Absolute Horror."

« We'll Be Back in A Week | Main | GINGER SNAPS BACK: THE BEGINNING »

March 14, 2006

TERMINAL VIRUS

Aaah, Roger Corman.  What would we do without you?  You churn out movies with the output of a crystal meth fiend.  And man, oh man, are these movies shlocky.  Latest in your assembly line of crap is TERMINAL VIRUS.  Just when we thought it couldn't get any more low-budget or nutty, here comes this post-apocalyptic vision of the future that makes THE MATRIX look like WAR AND PEACE.  It has just enough eye candy and action to hold our interest, but quality is not a, um, quality to be found in this film.

TERMINAL VIRUS has the deliciously preposterous premise that a virus has been released into the atmosphere making it - wait for it... - literally deadly for a man and woman to have sex.  Of course this very premise threatens the future of civilization as childbirth is impossible.  Just as every other film set in the a post-apocalyptic world, TERMINAL VIRUS finds itself in the desert.  Why?  Because just like nuclear holocaust, biological warfare, and every other reason civilization gets wiped out in movies, the remaining world is a desert, MAD MAX-style.  And similarly, there are roving bands of good guys and bad guys.  Or in this case, bad guys and hot girls - who can't interact of course.

So these warring genders take on their own identities and camps - and thank goodness just as in every other film of this genre, this virus somehow makes the women wear incredibly skimply clothing and take showers together.  Infect me now baby!  But wait, there is hope - and it comes in the form of a new serum that may have the antidote for this virus.  In other words, this serum may allow sex to occur.  If it were me I'd be like Indiana Jones in the TEMPLE OF DOOM opening, crawling around on all fours trying to get ahold of that antidote.

Here, Indiana Jones takes on the form of two men - Bryan Genesse and James Brolin.  That's right, Mr. Barbra Streisand and his right-hand man infiltrate the female camp and steal the very gorgeous Nikky Fritz to test out the serum on her (give you a hint, it works).  Before you can fly away with Brolin on the PENSACOLA WINGS OF GOLD, though, we are treated to a all out battle of the sexes with Uzis, bazookas, and random explosions.

None of it makes much sense, but I do know that I enjoyed the sheer lunacy of it.  The random gunplay.  The gratuitous nudity.  The knowledge that this movie will forever be in Brolin's filmography.  TERMINAL VIRUS is certainly TERMINAL CRAP, but dang nabbit, it was a good time nonetheless.  Check your brain at the door and enjoy.

RATING: *** (out of four)

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341d04ec53ef00d83528938b53ef

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference TERMINAL VIRUS:

Comments

19/ 11 18: 30 at 18: 30 Barnaga bygger inte på samtycke utan är en...

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

November 2007

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30  

HORROR NET

Site of the first all-horror TV channel