Let me start with my traditional disclaimer when I see the sequel to movies I’ve never seen: DISCLAIMER: I’ve never seen HOUSE 1-3. HOUSE 4, on the other hand, is a slapped together piece of junk clearly trying to capitalize on the huge following of the first three movies. Actually, I made that last sentence up, I have no idea whether or not the first three movies had a following – all I know is that hey must have been just profitable enough to justify investment in this crap-a-thon.
HOUSE 4 begins with the family of Roger Cobb (William Katt – better known as “The Greatest American Hero,” from the 80s) – contemplating a move to a house they own. Katt’s character, by the way, was apparently the hero of the first three movies. After turning down an offer by his dastardly friend Burke for this house, Cobb, along with his wife Kelly and daughter Laurel, quickly find themselves in a horrendous car wreck. The result is that Roger Cobb is burnt to a crisp and taken off life support, and his daughter Laurel is placed in a wheelchair for life. Bummer (and it must have been a shock to HOUSE 1-3 fans to see Katt knocked off like this).
Anyhow, no surprise at all, Kelly Cobb and her handicapped daughter move on into the house in question. A house which, of course, is connected to some sort of Indian burial ground. It’s the old stand-by – when in doubt as to why a house is haunted, pull out the good ‘ole Indian burial ground. It’s not enough that we robbed their lands, now we have to use Native Americans as a scapegoat for all the terrible things that happen to people in their homes.
And in HOUSE 4, the terrible things are pretty lame. A shower spurting blood just isn’t that scary (although a nice excuse for nudity). When the take-out pizza took the shape of a face and spat out pizza sauce, it elicits more laughs than screams. Yes, I’m serious, there is a scene in which a pizza looks like a face and spits out pizza sauce. See it and believe it. Hard for a single mom with a handicapped daughter and a haunted house, isn’t it?
All this and of
course Burke still is making a move for the house and continually pesters Kelly
Cobb about it. But there’s more to the
story – Burke is backed by an evil midget gangster. I do not lie – an evil midget gangster. So far this movie has piled on burn victims,
handicapped children, Native Americans, and little people. It’s not going to win any prizes from the
Anti-Defamation League. Burke himself
has some interesting hobbies, like giving it to blow up dolls while wearing a
And finally of
course is the culminating scenes which have to somehow involve fire,
explosions, and the hint of more sequels to come. Please, save yourself the trouble guys. HOUSE 4 is a terrible, terrible movie. It’s occasionally unintentionally funny, which
is why it gets even the paltry rating it does, but otherwise it’s a bore. I may have to go back to HOUSE 1 to see if it
was any better, but this movie did little to encourage me.
RATING: * and a half (out of four)