Ulli Lommel follows up the train wreck that was BOOGEYMAN with a shoddy, second-rate trashfest in BLACK DAHLIA. The ramshackle BLACK DAHLIA plot is all about a copycat version of
the Black Dahlia killings from 1947. So for those of you who thought
this was just a ripoff of the Black Dahlia movie that hit theatres not
so long ago, you're only mostly wrong. No, this is a copycat version.
Which makes it different. Somehow. How, I'm not sure.
Continue reading "BLACK DAHLIA (Straight to Video Version)" »
Kevin VanHook brings us another shockingly derivative work done
with at least some style in SLAYER, a SciFi Channel Original Picture
that really isn't all that original. And with this Sci-Fi Not So Original Picture, we get a bunch of
commandos down in South American jungle for no clear reason (something
about rebels is mentioned in passing) that get attacked by vampires. The Government, of course, isn't about to admit that there's a bunch of
pre-Incan vampires roaming South America--remember how much flack they
took over "Ketchup is a vegetable"?
Continue reading "SLAYER" »
Are you scared by a movie that takes the worst parts of our modern culture and piles them fast and deep in a fashion that makes you lament for the whole of civilization? If you can answer yes, then ARE YOU SCARED? is your movie of choice. Destroying modern culture this week is six kids in the midst of a reality show that turns out to be entirely too real for anyone's good--with lethal consequences. The first minute is going to prove almost jaw-droppingly familiar. A disembodied voice watching from nowhere explains the terms of a
game to a frightened participant with a reward on the line, and a price
to be paid for failure. The game is called ARE YOU SCARED? and
somehow, someone forgot to tell the folks involved that--son of a
bitch, somehow we're in a SAW KNOCKOFF!!
Continue reading "ARE YOU SCARED?" »
Anchor Bay hauls up another old wreck from the deep--but is this one worth salvaging? So what we have here plotwise is -- get this -- a ravenous,
quasi-sentient parasite crawls into a French circus performer for the
express purpose of being born of a human being. But in order for it to
get big and strong and born, it needs a whoooooole lot of blood. Thus,
new French circus mommy has to go out and slaughter up a whole bunch of
people to feed the "baby". There are days, folks, when I type up a quick plot synopsis and even
I wonder what I was on when I wrote that. Clearly, this is not your
normal average everyday horror flick.
Continue reading "BABY BLOOD" »
