Remember in 1997 when tween-age girls from around the world were lining up around the block to see TITANIC? So many, in fact, that the director, producers, and many principal actors of the movie were given huge bonuses by the studio. Well, judging by his appearance in VLAD, a straight-to-video piece of garbage about a modern day search for the history of the “real” Dracula, Zane must have attended the MC Hammer School of Investing. Remember that Chris Rock joke about sending a check to actors you feel bad for? Let’s just say that if I had Zane’s address, I would flip a coin between sending a $50 to Billy Zane or Wild Life Rescue.
The first sign of trouble came one minute into the film when Billy Zane first spoke and a Russian accent (it was supposed to be Romainian, but Zane didn’t seem to care). Zane had lots of company in the bad accent department with perennial B-movie actor Brad Dourif attempting half-heartedly to use a British accent. It seemed like Dourif forgot he was in the movie at times because only one out of every five words or so is British-ized. Anyhow, Dourif plays a professor in Bucharest and Zane is his right-hand man who both oversee four exchange students on their respective theses. They are brought together because each thesis topic has something to do with Dracula, Romania, or vampires. Hey, I am just impressed the writer knew what a thesis is! Before long, they are off (by foot I might add) on a journey into the Carpathian mountains to search for the ancient home of one Vlad Tep Drakul. Trouble is, one of the students, Linsey (the darkly hot Monica Davidescu) is a native and is unwittingly carrying a necklace that belonged to Vlad hundreds of years ago. She and another student begin having dreams and visions of Vlad and various other characters from medieval times. After one of these visions, one woman, Ilona, actually gets transported into modern times (don’t ask me how, what or why). The trouble is: Vlad, determined to retrieve his necklace, has accompanied them on their time travels,. Before long there is a showdown between Vlad and the students in his underground crypt. This is a weird movie. It has some decent ideas, and I like the concept of a film based around the “real” Dracula. The budget is actually not bad and the effects are decent. But to what end? The first half of the movie is all talk, and the finale is the only part that resembles a horror movie. The gore and violence is very minimal - as is (shed a tear) the nudity. There are three ways this movie could have worked. One would be to reproduce the ominous and bloody sexuality of Coppola’s version of DRACULA. Reproduce Coppola? That may be asking a lot of a movie reviewed on this site. The second would be to make the movie outright awful, complete with a low-budget, shoddy special effects, and disastrous dialogue. Problem is, this film isn’t that “bad” in the technical sense. Finally, they could have dialed up the horror, added in lots of blood and hedonism and thrown us some red meat to chew on. Sadly, VLAD fails on all counts. It tries to be something halfway decent. It’s obvious that time and energy was put into the screenplay, the special effects, and so forth. But the sad truth is that the end result just isn’t entertaining in any sense - the one exception being Billy Zane’s hilariously bad accent. But Billy’s fake accent isn’t enough to carry this one home. Sorry Billy. Check is in the mail. RATING: * (out of four)
i come here first time. Not a bad flick though I had to get used to the cgi snake,hated the sequel. Waiting...
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