SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE

Clichés abound. Copious amounts of clichés. Clichés up to my knees. Fields of clichés.  A plethora of clichés. 

By now, you might be able to guess what you're going to get with SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, an early-80s, really cheap, really bad, really funny movie. You'd expect lots of nudity and gore and, although there isn't that much of either, there's definitely enough to put this on the "most clichés in a movie list." But then again, it’s called SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE.   If it weren’t just about the most clichéd movie you ever saw, you’d be pretty disappointed.

The plot, or what barely resembles one, revolves around a sleepy little community in California. I’ve noticed a lot of bad horror movies are set in small towns in California. Could it be that they just don’t have the budget to film in Hollywood so they end up driving an hour or two to Bumblef*ck to shoot the movie? No, I’m sure it’s because they want an authentic atmosphere.

The opening shot is of a very precocious (read: over 30) high-school girl waking up, stretching, changing (happily for us), and finally heading downstairs to discover that her parents are leaving for the weekend. Hmm…parents leaving for the weekend. A movie called SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE. The twists and turns never stop coming.

Early on, we hear news flashes and see newspapers which talk about a killer on the loose after escaping from prison. Gee, I wonder if that's going to factor into the story later on.  Parents are leaving for the weekend, killer on the loose, a movie called SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE.  The suspense is killing me!

And killing characters in the film too.   Opening kill is a telephone repair woman murdered in her van.  Next onto a high school where we see a bunch of white girls try to play basketball, followed by a very necessary shower scene, where another girl finds herself face to face with a drill. The killer is already racking up some victims and the slumber party hasn't even started yet.  Part of me started to get impatient for the party to begin, but I’ll pay the price of waiting if that’s what it takes for a shower scene.

The party finally begins, the girls change into tight nighties, they begin to smoke pot and then they decide to do something really fun and radical, "Let's order pizza!" Oh boy, the fun never ends with these party animals! Before you know it, the neighbor is dead, a couple boyfriends come over to meet the same fate, and best of all, the pizza delivery guy falls dead as soon as they open the door to greet him.

I really can't conceive of a more thankless role for an actor than that pizza delivery guy.  When your big break is to drop dead as soon as you’re seen on the screen, you need a new agent.  To add insult to injury, one of the girls decides that she is so hungry that she still needs to eat the pizza on top of the corpse!!! “Hey, I’m hungry,” is her eloquent defense.  Screenwriting at its finest.

It is interesting to note that the director is actually a woman, when the film involve a murderer who takes out girls in skimpy clothes. But don’t let me get into a post-modernistic, feminist analysis of this movie. 

It pains me to do so, because the movie is truly of the lowest quality, but it is funny and I would be lying if I didn't recommend it. SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE is a consummate "so-good-it's-bad-movie" and it is damn funny.

RATING: *** out of four.

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