LIFEFORCE

Everything but the kitchen sink.  It’s a phrase tossed around lightly.  But it’s no exaggeration to say that LIFEFORCE tosses everything in but the kitchen in an attempt to entertain you.  Actually, scratch that, it tosses everything including the kitchen sink.  By the time the movie is complete, you may have to watch it again just to verify that you actually saw what you just saw.  The movie is a mess of enormous proportions which I absolutely loved.  Any movie that tries this hard to entertain you deserves credit – and it’s not just A for effort, the movie actually succeeds at its mission.

The plot (and I'm serious that this is the plot) begins with a space shuttle going to examine the tail of Hailey's Comet. In it they are startled to find a huge spacecraft in which there appear to be frozen some naked human bodies, including that of a beautiful naked woman played by French actress (and failed singer) Mathilda May. The astronauts take these bodies back to their shuttle. For some reason, which you find out later, everyone on the shuttle ends up dead, except for one American (Steve Railsback) who escapes in a pod.

Another shuttle arrives on a rescue mission and discovers the frozen bodies and takes them back to earth. BIG mistake. They turn out to be these weird vampires who walk around naked and suck the life out of people, who are left with no force. Wait a minute! Life...force...life...force...LIFEFORCE!!! Sometimes I impress even myself. Anyways, soon the people who have no lifeforce need it back and they in turn become vampires. Can you see a pattern emerging?

Meanwhile, the chase is on to find the original space vampiress, Ms. May, and a chase ensues which takes Railsback across the English countryside to places as random as an insane asylum run by Captain Picard!  Yes, there actually is a celebrity in this movie, Patrick Stewart. But even Stewart cannot save the day, however.  The vampires have done their dirty work and London has already been turned into a vast pit of crazed vampire people. There is a secret held inside Railsback which ends up being the key to the whole plot – leading to a finale so outrageous you won’t believe your own eyes.

LIFEFORCE was directed by Tobe Hooper.  Yes, the guy who once directed the TEXAS MASSACRE films now is making crap about space vampires. Now, it's crap I say, but it's also so ridiculous you can't help but have fun. There are some great special effects in LIFEFORCE and there are some awful ones. There are some good performances and there are some awful ones.  But, you just can't help but wonder who dreamed up the plot for this horror/sci-fi mess. It's as if a bunch of college kids got together, dropped a lot of acid, and the result was the screenplay to LIFEFORCE.

Still, you have to give them credit. The movie has gore, a lot of nudity (merci Madame May), and it is extremely fast-paced. It is certainly a busy film and holds your attention. In fact, I don't even know if I could call this movie a good one or a bad one, it's too ridiculous to even judge. Therefore I just have to give it a strong rating, because I don't even know what to think. It's that weird. I say, see it. It's fun, but you'll need a shower after seeing it.

RATING: *** and a half (out of a possible 4)

Comments

[385-horror]

Very good review, the movie looks interesting. Will definitely check it out

[DocLoomis]

Love this movie! Worth the purchase. Naked Space Vampires sucking the "force" out of people while London disintegrates to chaos. Doesn't get any better than that. Good review.

[Opening Kill]

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[Opening Kill]

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