THE HALFWAY HOUSE

Now we’re talking. THE HALFWAY HOUSE is such a preposterously low-brow work of B-movie magic that I cannot help but give it a strong recommendation. We’ve talked a lot about films that know how bad they are and don’t take themselves too seriously.  They pop up a lot in the horror genre. Yet, so many of these movies wink at the audience so heavily that they cross the line from being campy to being just unfunny.  THE HALFWAY HOUSE, on the other hand, is bad, knows its bad, and ends up deliciously campy. I loved it.

The film opens with the kidnapping of a jogger who smartly runs around dark alley-ways at night.  She’s taken into a basement, where she is stripped to her panties and strapped to a rack.  A man in a cloak opens a gate and waiting behind it is…well, I’ll tell you in a bit, read on.  Turns out this jogger has a sister, Larissa, who runs straight to the police station to report her missing.  Lucky for her she recruits the help of Sgt. Dick Sheen.  Yes, Sgt. Dick Sheen, played by Shawn Savage. That’s right, this movie features Shawn Savage as Sgt. Dick Sheen.  Now, I have no idea who this guy is, but I just wanted to write that because I like the sound of it.  If it sounds like a porno name, it’s not really in the wrong movie.

So, Larissa and Sgt. Dick do a little snooping and find a halfway house for teenage delinquent girls run by a sweet nun named Sister Cecelia, played by Mary Woronov of Paul Bartel fame (think EATING RAOUL).  Clearly she’s involved somehow, but they can prove nothing. Larissa senses Sgt. Dick’s about to give up on the case, so she takes him straight to bed and talks about how much she misses her sister while they have sex.  It’s a pretty surreal scene. With Dick’s approval, Larissa goes undercover at the house to find out what’s really up.  And this is where the fun begins.

Why? Because the filmmakers find every possible way to get the girls naked. This is the most nudity I’ve seen in a legit film since SHOWGIRLS (okay, that’s debatably legit, but oh so fun).  There are showers, locker rooms, lesbian encounters, near lesbian rapes, so on and so forth.  My favorite character was “Cherry Pie,” a girl who is supposedly the innocent one of the house.  So who did they cast to play this virgin? A girl with a huge tattoo on her back and nipple rings so large you could leap through them.  Hilarious.

Best of all is what’s lurking in the basement – a monster so fake that no amount of zooming in and out quickly can hide this fact.  Hell, they don’t even try. This monster apparently needs to build its strength to have sex with Sister Cecilia, so they feed it girls (girls who are stripped to their panties that is).

Have you gotten the picture yet?  The only thing lacking in this film is a big helping of gore, but with horrible acting, terrible dialogue, hilariously fake effects, and generous helpings of nudity, I’m willing to forgive any other transgression.  THE HALFWAY HOUSE is hilariously entertaining crap. Pop yourself some popcorn and enjoy.

RATING: *** and a half (out of four)

Comments

[dragonball gold]

HALFWAY HOUSE is hilariously entertaining crap. Pop yourself some popcorn and enjoy.

[Air Yeezy Shoes]

You can share some of your article, I'm like you write something, really very good! I will continue to focus on

[Brand Bikinis]

My favorite all time WORST horror movie is, "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"

[Christian Louboutin Outlet]

Your composition is very good, hope to have the opportunity to read more of your article!

[Nike Air Max]

Your article makes me rather high spirits.

[Nike Dunk SB]

This is really fantastic work dude..The Way in which You represt this blog is awesome.i really apporicate your work. Keep it up in future..Visit my link as well.

[Asics Shoes]

It’s really great article. I would like to appreciate your work and would like to tell to my friends.

[Cheap Jordan]

Very cool, I love the style and the quality

[Nike Lebron]

This article is very good, I like, thank you to share

[Cheap Bikinis]

Assuming the camera is being held by a person and judging by the size of things in the background, I think it might be safe to say that the hatch is about one body-length above the ground.

[Lacoste Shoes]

I like your article very much, support you.

[antiqueslove]

http://www.dynastyantique.com/>antiques
http://www.dynastyantique.com/>Chinese antiques
http://www.dynastyantique.com>chinese antiques porcelain
http://www.dynastyantique.com>Asian antiques porcelain
http://www.dynastyantique.com>Asian antiques
http://www.dynastyantique.com>ming dynasty porcelain
http://www.dynastyantique.com>qing dynasty porcelain
http://self-employed-health-insurances.com/>self employed health insurance
self employed health insurance
health insurance for self employed
antiques
chinese antiques
chinese antiques porcelain
Asian antiques porcelain
Asian antiques
ming dynasty porcelain
qing dynasty porcelain