Advance warning--the first ten minutes of ANGST are going to feature one of the most bizarre scenes I've seen from a movie that wasn't Japanese Because unless I've completely misunderstood what happened--and it's very possible, believe me--I just watched some guy rape our main character, Helen, and then vanish into her vagina. And all that was left of him was his clothing. And no...before too much longer there will be confirmation of exactly that. The guy got sucked up into her vagina. And he is only the first. Because Helen's cooch will be constantly screaming for meat, which means a whole bunch of guys will be vanishing like some kind of weird Copperfield act. Helen will therefore--in a move that should surprise absolutely no one--become a prostitute.
But even better, apparently, the vagina gets hungry between meals of men, and thus Helen needs to offer it between-men snacks. Like hot dogs. Seriously--she's going to be jamming weiners up there like no tomorrow, just to keep that thing fed. And I can't believe I just wrote that. Perhaps the worst part of all this is that this is in fact the plot. Men vanish, cooch demands meat, more men vanish, insert lame subplot involving conjoined twins, repeat ad nauseum.
For a movie called ANGST, I'm sure laughing my butt off at it. At least, for a while, anyway--then it just starts getting pointless. For some reason, there's a side story involving Helen's stalker / lost love and a pair of conjoined twins. And the novelty of Helen's carnivorous nether regions only lasts so long. Then it's just dull.
And I find this to be the most unnerving sign of all. When you're doing a movie that takes vagina dentata action to a wild and heretofore unrivalled new extreme, how exactly can it become boring? How, HOW, can you not wring excitement about a really, really hungry vagina? The fact that you've got every man's worst nightmare packaged in one clean hundred and six minute block and you can't even make it remotely scary is a fact that boggles the mind as well as insults the intelligence. I mean, maybe it would have helped if we hadn't gone launching off on all these unnecessary subplots. Maybe we should've just done ninety minutes of Helen's crotch lunching up on random men. For a stroke of irony, it could have eaten a performance of "The Vagina Monologues" and then belched. That would have at least been funny.
But ANGST plays it neither funny nor scary, which is a shame, because this
kind of plot should be at least one of the two, and a really good version should be occasionally both. The ending, however, does do a nice job of coming full-circle, and it even packs in a surprise or two.
The special features include Spanish subtitles, a making-of featurette, a cast and crew section, and trailers for LIVE FEED, TWISTED SISTERS, and
LOVESICK: SICK LOVE. All in all, ANGST was a movie that started out as great comedy, but steadily got darker and less pleasant until the end, when it wildly improved. If you're willing to put up with about an hour of crap for a great payoff, then ANGST is the movie for you.
RATING: ** (out of four)
Honestly I hate horror movies... I prefer
some drama films instead
Posted by: generic viagra | March 05, 2010 at 05:37 PM
Women like flower, flower, flower needs comfort!
Posted by: Jordan Retro 13 shoes | July 17, 2010 at 03:48 AM
w4gw4eg
Posted by: rrsbuvete | January 24, 2011 at 11:04 PM
Love these MBT Panda Sandals. I also own the MBT Habari Sandals as well. They are 'pricey' but are worth it! I notice lately that there seem to be alot of 'imitators' new to the market, but the MBT line, I believe are the 'originators.' Truly a very comfortable sandal and they do provide your legs with a good workout!
Posted by: mbt men boots | May 10, 2011 at 04:56 AM
Thank you this article I hope you have an enjoyable day.I can see a great improvement in your writing, I’ll love to get in touch. Keep up the good work! Your writing is very inspirational for someone who is new to this type of stuff.http://www.griffeyshoesred.com/
Posted by: Griffeys Shoes | May 17, 2011 at 02:57 AM
I just wanted to comment your blog and say that I really enjoyed reading your blog post here. I can see a great improvement in your writing, I’ll love to get in touch. Keep up the good work! Your writing is very inspirational for someone who is new to this type of stuff.http://www.radiishoessale.com/
Posted by: Radii Shoes | May 17, 2011 at 03:03 AM
It is probaply true, but in wikipedia says:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012
Posted by: KimKardashianPics | May 20, 2011 at 04:37 PM
Cool, it's well, to be next
Posted by: Zeteexoneered | May 27, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Every man is his own worst enemy.
Posted by: Herve Leger | September 02, 2011 at 02:29 AM
Saying and doing are two different things.
Posted by: Ed Hardy Clothing | September 02, 2011 at 02:38 AM
The nomination of the winner depends on the capability and spirit of the personality to finish the race.I like the post very much as it contain informative in knowledge.I like pics of Chelsea shares of the beauty of running in Madison, Wisconsin.I want to congratulate the winner for the nomination race.I want to know suggestion from others.
Posted by: Air Max | October 24, 2011 at 02:21 AM
I want to bring out the secrets of nature and apply them for the happiness of man. I don't know of any better service to offer for the short time we are in the world.
hope.
Posted by: Nike Dunks | November 02, 2011 at 11:47 PM
The talent of success is nothing more than doing well whatever you do without a thought of time.
Posted by: Asics Tiger | November 02, 2011 at 11:49 PM
The nomination of the winner depends on the capability and spirit of the personality to finish the race.I like the post very much as it contain informative in knowledge.I like pics of Chelsea shares of the beauty of running in Madison, Wisconsin.I want to congratulate the winner for the nomination race.I want to know suggestion from others.
Posted by: Asics | November 12, 2011 at 02:03 AM
Usted puede imaginar el dolor y las lesiones que un jugador puede conseguir cuando se juega sin los guantes debéisbol. Palmas de las manos con moretones, podría ser en lo más mínimo que un jugador tiene que preocuparse
Posted by: Nike Zapatillas | November 15, 2011 at 04:41 AM
El bolso es el accesorio más probable que la captura de su personalidad, y es probable que tenga un sabor muy definido en los bolsos. Pero si usted quiere elegir bolsos que no sólo dicen algo acerca de quién es usted
Posted by: Louis Vuitton Bolsos | November 15, 2011 at 04:41 AM
Such a good writing, or by I saw for the first time. I'm quite happy, you are a good writer!
Posted by: Air Max | November 16, 2011 at 11:08 PM
mean I just read through the entire article of yours and it was quite good but since I'm more of a visual learner,I found that to be more helpful.
Posted by: Nike Free Shoes | December 21, 2011 at 01:57 AM
He saw the wind against him, I know that tinkering is no good, the only way is to sit down and wait.
Posted by: Ken Griffey Jr Shoes | January 09, 2012 at 09:34 PM